Whoever said that having a second child would be easier needs to be clubbed over the head with a tire iron. "You'll be so much more relaxed", "everything will come so much easier"- these are some of the things we were told by, what we thought, were wiser, more experienced parents. What we didn't know was that they were also delusional. There is nothing easier about having two kids. I'm reminded of the old Wrigley chewing gum adage, "double the pleasure, double the fun" and wondering exactly at what point the "fun" will begin. I'm trusting that it will come in time, but can honestly say that there is not much fun in having an almost 3 year old and a 6 week old simultaneously.
(I should note, it is 5:30 in the morning. I have already been up for an hour. I could go back to sleep, but opted for a shower today rather than a measly 45 more minutes of sleep.)
Maybe it's just our kids. Perhaps we should have thought more about bringing into the world two individuals that were of Mexican/Italian decent. This is something that no one tells you about in pre-marital counseling. If someone would have mentioned that the combination of our ethnic heritage would result in the creation of what appears to be the world's two most high-maintanance children, perhaps we would have thought twice before deciding to become parents. We knew they were going to be loud, over-eaters, who were all up in everyone's business, but we had no idea they would be so...passionate and intense about EVERY single aspect of life.
I realized this yesterday while taking my children to the pediatrician's office for a routine check-up on a rash that Daniel has had...on his face. This should not have been a difficult procedure. I prepped him several times before going so he would know what to expect. Next time, I won't bother. It was utterly futile. I thought things were looking good when Daniel proudly walked into the new doctor's office. "Hi!" he exclaimed to everyone in the waiting room, as if they had been waiting anxiously for his arrival. He immediately made his way to the toys and started playing (this passion and intensity may prove to have it's benefits as he gets older). His sister, on the other hand, waited until I received the 14 pages of paperwork that needed to be filled out and then proceeded to throw a royal fit. Based on prior experience and the lie that "second-born babies are easier", I assumed putting a perfectly healthy, fully fed, adequately burped newborn into the car would result in a sleeping baby. However, I should have been familiar enough with Murphy's Law to realize this would never happen. The screaming commenced as soon as I sat down in the waiting room and lasted until I was able to pick her up out of her car seat and bounce her on my shoulder.
Baby in one hand, stroller in the other, I carefully guided Daniel to the exam room as if I was a dog herding cattle. It was at that point that I realized how terrifying it was for him to step on a scale (I thought that only happened once you reached adulthood- Praise God he'll never have to deal with the joys of baby weight-oh the horror!). He immediately started crying and shouting "NO! NO!" (my least favorite word in English language to date) and didn't stop until we were headed OUT of the office. The doctor weighed him, listened to his heart, and looked at his face- this, to my son, was apparently the equivalent of sawing off his right leg with a butter knife. His screams were matched only by those of his sister who has the incredible talent of appearing to be asleep until you sit down or attempt to move her for any reason. Suffice it to say, by the time we were finished, I was mourning the days when it was just me, my OB/GYN, and an invasive vaginal exam.
I often wonder why they call the process of giving birth "labor". I know it is hard work, but the true "labor" comes after you bring your kids home. My question is...why hasn't anyone developed an epidural so you don't have to feel the first 3 months? (or maybe that's what Martinis are for...)
One day, I'm sure I will look back on experiences like these and laugh- at least that's what I tell myself to keep from losing my mind. And I am confident that the time will come when we will wish our kids were still, as Daniel says, "cuddly and cute". I know we will beam with pride as we watch them grow and mature and become the dynamic, passionate, influential people they are destined to be.
Will someone remind me of that the next time we go to the doctor?
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6 comments:
Eileen, I know that you don't know me, I am Anna Reckard's sister. I must tell you that I would never have been the "delusional" parents that would have told you that the second time around was easier. To me,(and I have four kids), going from 1 to 2 was the hardest! Our firstborn, our son, was 16 mos. when our daughter was born. He had been pretty easy to handle as an only child, but when we added our tiny, yet with a cry that could wake the dead, little girl, things got pretty crazy! Makenna was high maintenance from the get go, I really remember the first six weeks with her were sooo different than our son. I remember wondering if life would ever be "normal and calm" again. And it did return to normalcy! Makenna turned out to be a mild-mannered baby after the first few months(and actually slept without having to be held!)and Christian started to learn how to amuse himself, and actually love his baby sister. I'm still wondering if her high-maintenance stemmed from the fact that as soon as we got home from the hospital, Christian walked over to her and smacked her in the face! Who knows? All I know now, is that sometimes my four children fill me with such a sense of joy and pride, as they all play together and really look out for each other, then five minutes later, as the wailing and screaming reaches ear-splitting decimals, I look up to the heavens and ask "Why, God, why me?" Parenthood is a journey, sometimes easy, sometimes hard, but always rewarding! Here's to laughing at our experiences down the road! God is good, and always knows what He's doing! Really enjoy the "cute and cuddly" stages, they disappear so quickly, there are days when I wish I could be transported back in time, just for a little while, and hold my children as babies, spit up and all! Blessings, April
The first 3 months with a new baby are hard no matter how many kids you have. I'm guessing what people meant is that you won't stress when Sofia grunts a little and think she's dying, or has the biggest blow-out you have ever seen and think you need to call the pediatrician. That is the part that everyone meant, I think. It is VERY stressful the first 3 months. I promise it gets better.
oh- only the 1st 3 months are hard?! hm...i've only got one more to go!!!
i about died laughing...i know i only have one...but i hear ya!
I would definitely not be the one who said two was easy :) Kylie’s infancy flew past me and I now regret it. I have a hard time remembering any “good” times just the really really hard nightly feedings we had with her. It’s sad but I just wanted Kylie to get bigger so Emma could play with her. It does get a whole lot easier when they get older but really try to enjoy the baby stage; it goes so fast.
Temperament is an issue I think and Kylie is still pretty high maintenance but she told Emma the other day that she was her best friend ;) So, it does gets better and they really are a blessing…I think it’s always hard going out by yourself with the kids though. I always have either Dan or Mama come with me to their Doctor visits. If not, I would be the one crying ;)
Some days are truly a breeze and I’ve found that God uses those times to refresh me and help me to get His perspective on the blessings that He has entrusted to us :)
We love ya’ll!
Hey there girlie, I so enjoy reading your posts....you keep me refresed in knowing that I'm not the only one who feels this way. We're going to have baby boy 3 in about a month. We hope the that you are all doing well and we're keeping your family in our prayers during this buyout. Tell your man that Stephen says hi. take care!
Oh that was funny! Way too familiar too :-) It gets better I promise. I can't remember exactly when though. I've had multiple people tell me that going from 2 to 3 kids was the hardest, anything after that was easy. So I decided to skip right past 3 and go straight from 2 to 4. I hope it works :-)
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