At 36 weeks pregnant, there are a lot of things one needs- a housekeeper, a chef, a nanny, a full-body massage, a grande mocha Frappuccino (did I say that out loud?)... the list goes on and on. I received this from a friend and thought it might put a fun spin on what I "really" need, according to Google that is. Ironically, most of these are surprisingly accurate. It was actually quite frightening to see what appeared when I typed in my name and a random verb in the Google search. I even learned a bit about myself... :)
1) Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
What Eileen really needs is to stop goofing around on the internet and start working on her thesis.
2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Eileen looks like a manic depressive zombie. (totally accurate!)
3) Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Eileen likes music.
4) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Eileen says stuff.
5) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Eileen wants someone who will dote on her, and hold her often, and regularly fill her plate with fresh greens.
6) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Eileen does a jump at the sand dunes! and plus.. shes pregnant.
7) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Eileen hates housework. (Can I get an Amen?!)
8) Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
Eileen goes to the announcements tool and sends a message to students to let them know the image collection is available. (okay so maybe this one isn't so realistic, but it could have happened a few years ago...)
9) type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Eileen loves to run up and down the driveway as fast as she can.
10) Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Eileen has all the tools to help you find, sell, or invest in Real Estate.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
My Thoughts on American Idol
+ 
= 
I can't possibly be the only person who sees this. Is there a reason this guy is still in the competition, apart from the fact that there are apparently TOO many 13 year old girls in this country with cell phones and WAY too much time on their hands?
Monday, April 21, 2008
5 Weeks and Counting...
We have made it to 35 weeks and are officially in the home stretch. As I readied myself this morning for what will be the first of several weekly invasive examinations, I was painfully reminded of all the things I am no longer able to do. Don't get me wrong. Pregnancy brings such joy and change to one's life each day, especially during the 3rd trimester. We marvel daily at the new and exciting things I am able to accomplish. What woman capable of taking on a room full of drunken frat boys in a belching contest wouldn't be beaming with pride?
Alas, the following is a list of things I can no longer manage to accomplish...
-seeing my feet
-drinking water without getting heartburn
-lying down
-getting up
-sitting
-standing
-sleeping
-wearing black and not resembling a penguin
-going longer than 10 minutes without a bathroom break
-buckling my seat belt
-picking anything up off the floor
-laughing without wetting my pants
-sneezing without wetting my pants
-getting off of the couch
-finishing a sentence with less than 3 deep breaths
-tying my shoes
-changing a diaper without getting winded
-walking about the house without bumping into at least one piece of
furniture
-remembering minor events
-remembering major events
Over the course of the next 5 weeks, I will experience the pleasure of seeing more and more menial tasks added to this list and look forward to the joy that will bring! This leads me to the inevitable question...are we done yet???
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Just one of those days...
***Disclaimer- the following are the rantings and ravings of a pregnant woman in her eight month and may not be considered politically correct. Comment at your own risk***
I must have received a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Let me rephrase that, I woke up on the right side of the bed at the wrong time! Not only was it much earlier than my Tylenol PM drugged body was prepared for but, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant way to be awakened from a dead sleep. Apparently our two-year-old had a similar experience because he was equally as crabby. That could explain why he woke me up at 6:45 by beating me in the head with one of his baby sister's rattles.
With a "To Do" list a mile long, I wearily prepared for the day hoping and praying that I would be able to muster enough energy to finish all that I needed to before heading to the airport to pick up my mom and Lisa. It never ceases to amaze me that a toddler can undo in less than an hour what it took an entire weekend to accomplish. Thus was the state of our home. Oh it was dusted, vacuumed, polished, and mopped, but one would never know it was so clean under the vast array of crap that now littered it. Everywhere I looked I saw a new project that needed to be done before this evening.
First on the list was grocery shopping. It should have been last because the hour and a half that it took to hit two stores was enough to put me over the edge and turn this pregnant woman into a raging alcoholic.
I realized, upon finishing my grocery list, locking up the dog, and tying Daniel down to get his shoes on his feet, that Fernando had taken my house key last night and I had forgotten to get it back. When you are raised in a state of paranoia, like the one my father raised me in, it is unfathomable to consider leaving the house without locking the door (locking in our house, by the way, always meant one lock, two deadbolts, and a security door) and here I was about to leave our apartment with the door completely unlocked. Due to my increased hormonal state it took me all of about 2.5 seconds to go from concerned to not caring a bit should someone rob us blind. So we headed to the store.
Upon arriving at Kroger, Daniel immediately spotted his favorite shopping cart. You mothers out there know which one I'm talking about. It is a cart attached to what looks like a Little Tikes car that your kid can "drive" around in while you shop. Cute idea, right? Wrong! Did the creators of this "brain child" ever stop to think how difficult it would be for a woman, even one who considers herself freakishly strong, to push this veritable Lincoln Town Car through the narrow aisles of a crowded supermarket? Obviously not! But, in an attempt to humor my child and give him some indication that I do in fact love him, I allowed him to climb into the driver's seat and away we went. Apparently, my sacrifice meant nothing to him because less than three feet into the grocery store he started complaining. Please understand that the word "complaining" is used to describe any behavior ranging from screaming to throwing crackers. I experienced them all. But the highlight of the shopping trip was when he decided he wanted to be in the "other" blue car. Yes, I said "other" as he was already riding in the blue car he picked out for himself. Lo and behold, no matter what aisle we went down, we ran into that other mother with her son quietly driving his blue car and looking at Daniel like he was a lunatic. I wasn't about to argue. I did, however, consider giving in to Daniel's temper tantrum and trading him for the quiet 4 year old in the other cart. Think his mother would have noticed?
Somehow we both managed to leave Kroger alive and headed to Walmart- another huge mistake. I should know by now that Walmart makes the most pleasant of days a complete nightmare and here I was about to enter my least favorite place in the world on what was quickly becoming my least favorite day! I managed to change Daniel's mood briefly by offering him some fruit snacks. I was just beginning to marvel at my own ingenious when he dropped three of them on the floor and the meltdown commenced. I really think the highlight of the day, though, was the fact that somehow I managed, no matter where in the store I was, to get trapped behind the group of retarded kids. Around the 3rd or 4th time I got trapped behind them in an aisle with Daniel still screaming over the loss of his Curious George fruit snacks, I'm fairly certain I audibly heard God laughing at me.
I am happy to report that we made it home, Daniel quite literally in one piece and me without even a smigen of energy to attempt the next thing on my list. Should have stopped at Starbucks on the way home.
I must have received a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Let me rephrase that, I woke up on the right side of the bed at the wrong time! Not only was it much earlier than my Tylenol PM drugged body was prepared for but, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant way to be awakened from a dead sleep. Apparently our two-year-old had a similar experience because he was equally as crabby. That could explain why he woke me up at 6:45 by beating me in the head with one of his baby sister's rattles.
With a "To Do" list a mile long, I wearily prepared for the day hoping and praying that I would be able to muster enough energy to finish all that I needed to before heading to the airport to pick up my mom and Lisa. It never ceases to amaze me that a toddler can undo in less than an hour what it took an entire weekend to accomplish. Thus was the state of our home. Oh it was dusted, vacuumed, polished, and mopped, but one would never know it was so clean under the vast array of crap that now littered it. Everywhere I looked I saw a new project that needed to be done before this evening.
First on the list was grocery shopping. It should have been last because the hour and a half that it took to hit two stores was enough to put me over the edge and turn this pregnant woman into a raging alcoholic.
I realized, upon finishing my grocery list, locking up the dog, and tying Daniel down to get his shoes on his feet, that Fernando had taken my house key last night and I had forgotten to get it back. When you are raised in a state of paranoia, like the one my father raised me in, it is unfathomable to consider leaving the house without locking the door (locking in our house, by the way, always meant one lock, two deadbolts, and a security door) and here I was about to leave our apartment with the door completely unlocked. Due to my increased hormonal state it took me all of about 2.5 seconds to go from concerned to not caring a bit should someone rob us blind. So we headed to the store.
Upon arriving at Kroger, Daniel immediately spotted his favorite shopping cart. You mothers out there know which one I'm talking about. It is a cart attached to what looks like a Little Tikes car that your kid can "drive" around in while you shop. Cute idea, right? Wrong! Did the creators of this "brain child" ever stop to think how difficult it would be for a woman, even one who considers herself freakishly strong, to push this veritable Lincoln Town Car through the narrow aisles of a crowded supermarket? Obviously not! But, in an attempt to humor my child and give him some indication that I do in fact love him, I allowed him to climb into the driver's seat and away we went. Apparently, my sacrifice meant nothing to him because less than three feet into the grocery store he started complaining. Please understand that the word "complaining" is used to describe any behavior ranging from screaming to throwing crackers. I experienced them all. But the highlight of the shopping trip was when he decided he wanted to be in the "other" blue car. Yes, I said "other" as he was already riding in the blue car he picked out for himself. Lo and behold, no matter what aisle we went down, we ran into that other mother with her son quietly driving his blue car and looking at Daniel like he was a lunatic. I wasn't about to argue. I did, however, consider giving in to Daniel's temper tantrum and trading him for the quiet 4 year old in the other cart. Think his mother would have noticed?
Somehow we both managed to leave Kroger alive and headed to Walmart- another huge mistake. I should know by now that Walmart makes the most pleasant of days a complete nightmare and here I was about to enter my least favorite place in the world on what was quickly becoming my least favorite day! I managed to change Daniel's mood briefly by offering him some fruit snacks. I was just beginning to marvel at my own ingenious when he dropped three of them on the floor and the meltdown commenced. I really think the highlight of the day, though, was the fact that somehow I managed, no matter where in the store I was, to get trapped behind the group of retarded kids. Around the 3rd or 4th time I got trapped behind them in an aisle with Daniel still screaming over the loss of his Curious George fruit snacks, I'm fairly certain I audibly heard God laughing at me.
I am happy to report that we made it home, Daniel quite literally in one piece and me without even a smigen of energy to attempt the next thing on my list. Should have stopped at Starbucks on the way home.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
April, already???
Is it just me or have the last three months been a blur? This year is already going entirely too fast! I cannot believe it is already April 6th. For us, that means May 25th and the arrival of our little girl is just around the corner- a thought that is both exhilerating and a bit frightening at the same time. We are so thrilled to have a new addition to our family (and especially a precious baby girl at that) but I would be less than candid if I didn't admit that there are days I wonder if I can handle the demands of a newborn and a VERY active 2 1/2 year old little boy. I suppose it's like anything else in life...you just DO IT. We are getting Sofia's room in order a little bit at a time and it is finally looking like a nursery. We are looking forward to completing that project in a few weeks when our new laptop arrives and we can officially remove our computer and what remains of the office. That adds to the excitement! This week we are looking forward to another doctor's appointment and a baby shower. Not only that, but a much anticipated visit from my mom and "Grandma" Lisa. It will be so wonderful to have them both here, especially for our shower on Saturday. Daniel can't stop talking about his "grandmas" and will be thrilled to see them when we meet them at the airport! Sunday we will celebrate Fernando's 32nd birthday and I will be particularly relieved that we will officially be the same age and he will be forced to quit calling me, quite literally, his "old lady". :) I am looking forward to making it a very special day, since he will be traveling a majority of the next three weeks. I am gearing up for my upcoming role as a single parent, a role that becomes increasingly difficult with my expanding belly and continuous lack of sleep. And I will, undoubtedly, spend much time on my knees in prayer while he is gone. Not to mention that Daniel and I will be having our Potty Training day at some point between now and the 1st of May- granted I can pull everything together to make it a success. It's a day I'm actually looking forward to because I know he will enjoy his "party". The next several weeks will bring many changes to the Orona household, but all of them will be milestones and definitely worth remembering.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
