Today

In the words of my sister, "I'm a little sad today".  Can't think of a better way to put it.  It was a year ago, today, that my precious grandma went to be with the Lord.  And although, I am confident in that, it stings a bit today.  Therein lies the ultimate dichotomy of the human soul.  Hope and promise of what is to come amidst the pain and anguish of loss.

I don't think I'll ever forget the call I received on May 26th, 2010.  Fortunately I was up  and ready for the day, knowing I'd be heading out at some point.  My aunt and uncle were already in town and we were all anxious to spend as much time at my grandma's bedside as possible.  My cell phone rang and sweet Doris from my grandmother's home told me I wanted to get there as soon as possible.  I called a friend to watch the kids and almost literally threw them in the car.  I was not a quarter mile from my house when Doris called again.  "Sweetie, she's gone."  Those three words, spoken is such love and compassion, ripped a giant-sized hole in my heart and I'll never forget the exact moment I heard them.

I'll also never forget what happened over the course of the following hour and the overwhelming peace that flooded my wounded heart.  For the tears of sadness and joy that my family was able to share as we cried and laughed our way through the morning, rummaging through pictures that characterized my grandma's life.  We grieved with hope.

I've done that a lot over the past 12 months and even found myself smiling at the thought of what both my grandparents have experienced.  This year that has seemed so long at times and yet so short at others, has not bound them.  They've not once looked at a clock or wondered what's taking so long.  I'm sure neither one is thinking, "has it already been a year?"  My finite mind cannot grasp what they see, hear, and feel.   I'm beyond thrilled that I know they are together and that I will see them again- whole and perfect.  I cannot wait for that moment!

But, I'm a little sad today...