Settling Down- Part 1

"It's time for you to get married and settle down".  Has anyone been plagued by this statement or some form of it as much as I have? I heard it again the other day and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

Who was the first person to coin the phrase "settle down"?  I would really like to know.  Why?  Because that person needs to be severely beaten for filling our minds with such inaccurate and lofty perceptions of married life. 

Settling down is a phrase highly misused. I have been married for 9 years and have three children under the age of 6. I haven't "settled down" since 2002. I am now busier than I've ever been and feel more manic than ever before. This isn't what I signed up for.   What happened to settling down in wedded bliss, enjoying quiet evenings at home with your love, swinging on a porch swing sipping iced tea on summer evenings.  Okay, maybe those images are a bit extreme and not exactly what I had in mind when I said, "I do".  But they do, fairly accurately, describe settling down.  As if life is supposed to be calm and serene after the wedding bells ring.

True, in most cases, adults spend their single years perusing bars and engaging in the club scene, moving from one relationship to another.  So I suppose "settling down" would require significant decrease in alcohol consumption and one committed, monogamous relationship, minus the grinding techno music.  But in my circle that wasn't the norm. 

My friends and I graduated from high school and moved on  with our lives in a fairly respectable and responsible manner.  We enrolled in college some to get a degree and, admittedly, some to find a husband.  Those of us who didn't get married in college or right after started our careers, moved away, moved back, traveled, and ultimately enjoyed our singleness.  Then slowly, one by one, we started to get married and "settle down", albeit, what we were settling down from, I still don't know.  Was it the weekend trips to the beach?  The quiet evenings at home watching a movie?  Leisurely afternoons at the mall?

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like life turned upside down the day after the wedding.  We adjusted really quickly and settled in to married life rather well.  But settling in is different than settling down.   Settling in refers to adjusting to living with one another, setting up your home, and continuing to get to know one another on a deeper level.  Settling in happened.  Settling down did not.

Suddenly you have twice as many relationships, twice as many bills, twice as much laundry, twice as many car problems.  The stress in your life has just grown exponentially.  Throw in the responsibility of maintaining your own house and it can be a bit overwhelming.  But, you learn to deal.  You learn to juggle with a few more balls and before you know it, everything is busy but moving smoothly.  Once again, you've settled in.  

And then you have kids...

Mom Hats

So often I find myself torn between two personalities:  The strict mom who keeps her kids in line so as to keep them out of trouble, keep her home in some semblance of order, and maintain a shred of her own sanity, and the "fun" mom.  The mom who throws caution to the wind, allows her kids to imagine, explore, and create, and realizes that time is precious and "things" just don't matter.

I diligently try to find an appropriate balance between the two.  There are times I can let go, give them some leeway, and let them have fun.  Today I was determined to be THAT mom.  So when my daughter, sweetly adorned in her apron and chef's hat, asked if she could use one of my bowls, I willingly gave it to her.  And, because I was wearing my "fun" mom hat, I threw in one of my new bamboo spoons for her to play with as well.

All proud of myself, I returned to the task at hand, happy to see my kids entertained and feeling special to be using Mom's special things.  And then this happened...

Is This Thing On?

It's 6:00 in the morning.  I've already been up for an hour and half, awakened by a poor sick boy with a climbing fever.  I returned to bed convinced I would fall asleep almost immediately and then it happened.  That thing that always happens when I awake prematurely.  My brain turns on.  I spent the next 45 minutes contemplating life, creating an agenda for the day, arguing politics, defending my faith...all in my head.  At 5:15, I conceded and got out of bed.  I will openly admit I was tempted to pick up my Kindle Fire and continue a losing game of Words With Friends.  However, convicted by a statement my husband made last night, I decided to resurrect my blog instead.  Man, it's been a long time since I've been on here!

I'm not sure why I go through periods of blogging silence when writing is so cathartic for me.  One would assume, at this crazy stage of life, I would be blogging incessantly.  But alas, I find myself smack dab in the middle of a blogging drought. 

What has been going on thus far in 2012?  I wish I knew.  I could easily swear the holidays just ended and yet here we are on the brink of Spring Break.   We had a January. I know this because my calendar had the cutest winter scene on it for 31 whole days.  I know there was a bout with step throat in our house for a few of those days, but other than that, I'm at a loss.  February was a little more eventful.  We celebrated our 9th anniversary by cancelling a much needed tropical beach vacation.  (Truth be told, we traded in one beach vacation for another that will come later in the year)  But we did enjoy a lovely evening out.   Our extended family has been through a myriad of medical and surgical procedures from dogs to dads. And I kissed my early 30s goodbye and jumped on the fast train to 40.

So there you have it.  The Oronas in  2012.  Clearly this post is not about quality content.  But doesn't my blog look pretty?

Happy Anniversary

Can't help thinking about my sweet grandparents on what would have been their 70th wedding anniversary.  I'm so grateful for the 60 years they got to celebrate together in this life, but can't help but smile thinking of the insurmountable joy and celebration they are experiencing every moment of eternity.  Everything here pales in comparison.  So thankful that I don't have to miss them in sadness, but can look forward to seeing their smiling faces again!

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Okay, so it's not. And with extreme heat advisories the last few days, it's not beginning to feel much like Christmas either! But that's not getting me down! I am bound and determined to mentally escape from the brutal summer heat one way or another.

Today is August 25th. That means there are only 4 short months until Christmas day. Can you believe it? (I'll give you a moment to recover from your mini-stroke...) So much to do and not nearly as much time as you think.


Join me as I launch my brand new blog Countdown To Christmas, and together we can make the most of our time and stretch those holiday dollars!

Here We Go Again

Well, here we are.  Two weeks into the new school year and life is already insanely busy.  If we keep at this pace for the remainder of the year, I'm dreading the impending sickness that will fall on our house in the coming months.  Last year the first illness manifested itself just before Thanksgiving and lasted until May.  Yes, I said May.  Someone in our home was sick consistently from November to MAY!  I don't know about other families, but that's record sickness for us and it was extremely uncharacteristic.

Daniel has now been in school 11 days and has already brought home a stuffy, runny nose that he has graciously passed on to his brother and sister.  As of yet, it seems to be minor and countless prayers are being offered up that it passes quickly.  In the meantime, it's early to bed and extra Juice Plus+ for everyone.

Just in case, I'll be making a run to Target today to buy volumes of PediaCare, Motrin, Benedryl, Dimetapp, Triaminic, Robitussin, Little Noses, and anything else that might come in handy over the next few months!

Things That Only Happen On the First Day of School

The first day of school is a strange phenomenon for parents.  It is faced with a mix of excitement, relief, and dread as you realize that your children are embarking on another school year guaranteed to fly by as fast that those before it.  Regardless of one's feelings about the first day of school.  There are five things that occur this particular day that will not happen for the other 179 days of the school year.

1) Your children will be out of bed on time, and more surprisingly, so will you.  There is something unusually easy about getting up before dawn to get your kids dressed and out the door as soon as possible on the first day of school.  No need to hit the snooze button today.  No chance of accidentally over-sleeping.  It's back to school and you will be there at least 10 minutes before the bell rings.

2) Your child's clothes will be pressed and looking sharp.  If you're like me, this is a rare occurrence for anyone in the household, including yourself.  There are few things I detest as much as ironing and therefore, I purpose to do it as little as possible.  But I realized this morning as I pressed a miniature polo shirt and navy cargo shorts, that I was definitely going above and beyond.  Why?  It's the first day of school.

3) You will provide a healthy and substantial breakfast for your children.   On the first day of school, your child will partake of each of the four basic food groups from the veritable smorgasbord of food you will prepare.  After all, they cannot possibly function and be sustained throughout the day without the proper nutrients on the first day of school.  Every other day of the school year, a cold Pop Tart eaten in the car on the way to school is considered sufficient.

4) You will watch the clock religiously and wonder what your child is doing at each moment of the day.  This is perhaps the most puzzling ritual of the day.  This is largely due to the fact that, for most parents, it will be a matter of mere days before you lose track of time completely and nearly forget to pick up your children from school.

5) You will retire unusually early, exhausted from your extra efforts and knowing full well that the process will begin again in the morning.  The good news is, you can hit the snooze button tomorrow.  It's not the first day of school. :-)